Wouldn’t it be nice if managing our relationships was as easy as making a sandwich? Take two people, slap them together with something in the middle to provide a bit of flavor, and voila! You are left with something that is both appealing and filling. Unfortunately, relationships do not work that way. They are often quite complicated and hard to deal with.
That is not to say that relationships are not worth the trouble. They are, especially when you consider that human beings are relational creatures. We don’t naturally do well in isolation. We need other people around to share our thoughts and ideas with. We need their comfort in sadness, their help in trouble, and their companionship regardless of circumstances.
So if we need one another so much, why is living together so hard? Why is it so difficult to maintain positive relationships with everyone around us? There isn’t just one reason. Remember, relationships are not that simple.
People Are Different
At Relationships & More, a Westchester County, New York counseling Center, one of the things they strive to help people understand is how different they are from one another. Those differences easily manifest themselves in something as routine as couples’ counseling. It is strange that people so often fail to recognize their differences unless circumstances force them to do so.
Here’s the thing: get two people together in a room and they are bound to discover their differences as soon as they start talking – at least if they pay attention that is. At any rate, what makes each one different and unique is what makes life so interesting. Yet those differences can be sources of friction.
Different Views of the World
The fact that people are different leads to the inevitability of seeing the world differently as well. Your life is colored by everything from your experiences to what you learned as a child. The same goes for everyone else. But because everyone’s experiences are somewhat different, all of our views are different as well.
This only complicates matters when you are trying to share your life with someone else. Since no two people are the same, the different ways in which they view the world are likely to clash every now and again.
We Can Think and Feel
Perhaps the most important reason human relationships are so complicated is the fact that we can think and feel in ways that most other creatures cannot. Human beings are cognitive creatures capable of understanding one another. We can acknowledge one another’s rights and responsibilities. We can empathize with one another’s emotions. We can choose to put one another first or be selfish instead.
These are all things that animals cannot do. Animals live primarily by instinct and nature. We have a tendency to do the same if left to ourselves, but we also have the ability to override instinct and nature in order to act in ways that are responsible, respectful, and cognizant of the needs, rights, and responsibilities of others.
If all of this sounds complicated, that’s because it is. And now you know why human relationships are so complicated. Human beings are by no means simplistic creatures. We are complex in every way. We should not expect our relationships to be any less complicated than we are.
The upside of all this is that we have the unique ability to enjoy positive relationships. From those relationships springs forth what makes life worthwhile. Try imagining having no relationships at all. They may be complicated, but relationships are definitely worth the time and effort to make them positive.
